Loved You

I have loved you by a river
I have loved you in the trees
I have loved you by the hedgerows
I have loved you on my knees
I have loved you with my footsteps
I have loved you for all those miles
I have loved you with my tears
I have loved you with my smiles
I have loved you while I’m dreaming
I have loved you wide awake
I have loved you before you knew it
I have loved you with heartache
I have loved you unconditionally
I have loved you though it’s wrong
I have loved you in the daytime
I have loved you all night long
I have loved you when you’re near
I have loved you far apart
I have loved you so completely
I have loved you with my whole heart
And when the morning comes
And I have to rise again
I will still open my eyes and love you,
I will love you even then,
I will still love you though it hurts me
I will still love you years from now
I will still love you when time has ended
I will keep on loving you somehow.

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Am I?

Am I angry with you?
Sometimes.
I am angry you don’t love me enough.
I am angry with you for all the times you have left me,
Or tried.
Why not give in?

Am I angry?
Sometimes.
I am angry at myself for weakness
For not telling you
Where to go.
I am angry for not leaving first
So you feel the hunger for me,
Out of reach, disappearing.
I am angry at rejection.
I’ve only ever let it happen twice and
I’m angry that it hurts so much more this time.

Am I still in love you?
So much.
I love you more than my bricks and mortar,
I love you far more than I ‘oughta,’
Enough for upside down and inside out
If you wanted?

Am I love?
Always.
I am a googolplex of love,
The partial sum of how I feel
For you,
How far my love will go…
I am love, first and last
I am even just the thought of love
A love that thinks hard,
Hungry for you when you are out of reach.
I am love that will exist, even when chaos is come and golden fields have burned to ash and barren earth because
I am love. I am me.

‘Talk To Me, Poem, I Think I’ve Got The Blues’ by Nikki Giovanni.

I’m finding it hard to find the right words when I need them. Either there are too many difficult ones when I should probably just shut up, or not enough when I want to write a poem that has substance. Anyway, whilst on my rather melancholy travels through poetry land looking for words that speak more articulately than my own…I discovered this gem and it even made me smile!

My next poem is definitely going to be about a road sign.

Cross roads?
Give way?
One way?
Dead end?
Stop?
Diversion?
Steep gradient?
Bumps?
Humps?
Slippery road ahead?
End of speed restriction?

There’s half a poem right there…

 

Why Don’t You Talk To Me? by Alistair Te Ariki Campbell

Why do I post my love letters
in a hollow log?
Why put my lips to a knothole in a tree
and whisper your name?

The spiders spread their nets
and catch the sun,
and by my foot in the dry grass
ants rebuild a broken city.
Butterflies pair in the wind,
and the yellow bee,
his holsters packed with bread,
rides the blue air like a drunken cowboy.

More and more I find myself
talking to the sea.
I am alone with my footsteps.
I watch the tide recede
and I am left with miles of shining sand.

Why don’t you talk to me?

Summit

You are too heavy for me to carry,
Yet carry you I do.
My arms ache from the strain
Of absence
My leaden heart weighs me down
With its load of love
So I can go nowhere,
Only stand
Rooted at the foot of this mountain
You have placed in my path
And cry.

You are too heavy for me to carry,
Yet carry you I must
Though love weighs too heavy on my mind,
Feet won’t find straight lines
And even breathing seems a struggle.

You are too heavy for me to carry
But carry you I will
Though this mountain seems unassailable.

And for a thousand years I might stand here,
At the foot of your mountain,
Carrying the weight of everything
Until your love can become my axe,
My fixed rope
For climbing to the summit
Where burden becomes
Light as the thinnest of air
I breathe you in and
Find I’ve carried you there.

‘Words’ by Nizar Qabbani

He lets me listen, when he moves me,
Words are not like other words
He takes me, from under my arms
He plants me, in a distant cloud
And the black rain in my eyes
Falls in torrents, torrents
He carries me with him, he carries me
To an evening of perfumed balconies

And I am like a child in his hands
Like a feather carried by the wind
He carries for me seven moons in his hands
and a bundle of songs
He gives me sun, he gives me summer
and flocks of swallows
He tells me that I am his treasure
And that I am equal to thousands of stars
And that I am treasure, and that I am
more beautiful than he has seen of paintings
He tells me things that make me dizzy
that make me forget the dance and the steps

Words…which overturn my history
which make me a woman…in seconds
He builds castles of fantasies
which I live in…for seconds…
And I return…I return to my table
Nothing with me…
Nothing with me…except words

“Come Back to Me” By Christina Rossetti

I’m feeling a bit useless and can’t find any words of my own to write tonight, so I’ve borrowed some much better ones instead…

COME back to me, who wait and watch for you:—
Or come not yet, for it is over then,
And long it is before you come again,
So far between my pleasures are and few.
While, when you come not, what I do I do
Thinking, “Now when he comes,” my sweetest “when”:
For one man is my world of all the men
This wide world holds; O love, my world is you.
Howbeit, to meet you grows almost a pang
Because the pang of parting comes so soon;
My hope hangs waning, waxing, like a moon
Between the heavenly days on which we meet:
Ah me, but where are now the songs I sang
When life was sweet because you called them sweet?

No Words

I love you so much,
That now I don’t know what to do,
Apart from tell you
Over and over again
With words that aren’t big enough
Clever enough
Good enough
Powerful enough
Will ever be enough
To show you how much.

‘Let’ by Danielle Shorr

This poem is heartbreak on steroids. ‘Let’ by Danielle Shorr  is nothing short of excruciating to read because, well, the truth often hurts, and love often hurts too.

Whilst some of the sentiments may seem extreme; I don’t, for example, believe you can blame someone you love so completely for ruining your life (because it’s totally possible to do that all by yourself,) I do, however, like the uncomfortable juxtaposition the poet creates between the dreamer, who will ‘wait’ patiently hoping that their love isn’t ‘foresaken’ and the realist who knows they are stuck in this vicious cycle of loving ‘without permanence’ and all the things it does to you.

This is a poem to love and loathe. Love it for its honesty, it’s raw and gritty view on love and heartbreak; loathe it for what it reveals about ourselves and the way we can love one another.

 

I knew
From the moment we met
That you were going to ruin my life
And I was going to let you

I knew
When you picked me up
Your arms wrapped around my body
With the intention of holding
That you were going to drop me
More than once
And I was going to let it happen

See the thing is
You could break both of my legs
Shatter my bones
Into a million pieces
And I would still find a way
To come crawling back to you

Knees bloodied,
Hands torn from the pulling
I’ve never been one
For giving up easily

You could effortlessly
Take my heart and crack it open
Drink its contents
Throw the rest away
And I would still somehow attempt
To give you the remains

Call me selfless
But I am used to giving parts of myself
And receiving nothing in return

You could tie my tongue
My lips, my teeth
Split them into surrender
Into a foreign language
And I would still manage
To cough up your name

I have never learned release
Or let go
I only know stay
You could leave
One hundred times
And I would still wait for your return
With patience

Because kissing without permanence
Is like loving without memory
There is no purpose
If there is nothing to come back to
No reason in attempt
If it is bound to be forsaken

You had no intention
Of staying
This was something I knew
From the moment we met

That you were going to leave
And I was going to let you.