Am I?

Am I angry with you?
Sometimes.
I am angry you don’t love me enough.
I am angry with you for all the times you have left me,
Or tried.
Why not give in?

Am I angry?
Sometimes.
I am angry at myself for weakness
For not telling you
Where to go.
I am angry for not leaving first
So you feel the hunger for me,
Out of reach, disappearing.
I am angry at rejection.
I’ve only ever let it happen twice and
I’m angry that it hurts so much more this time.

Am I still in love you?
So much.
I love you more than my bricks and mortar,
I love you far more than I ‘oughta,’
Enough for upside down and inside out
If you wanted?

Am I love?
Always.
I am a googolplex of love,
The partial sum of how I feel
For you,
How far my love will go…
I am love, first and last
I am even just the thought of love
A love that thinks hard,
Hungry for you when you are out of reach.
I am love that will exist, even when chaos is come and golden fields have burned to ash and barren earth because
I am love. I am me.

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2 thoughts on “Am I?

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