Untitled #16

Give me your soft hand,
I need someone to hold mine.
Give me your strong arms,
Comfort me while I hurt.
Give me your lips,
Kiss away my tears.
Give me just words
To fill the emptiness.



I am going to tear up pages with words.
Then scrunch them tight into balls to throw 
At invisible walls and waste paper bins.

I don’t know what else to do.

I am going to slice through pages
With my pen,
Blackest ink on whitest skin,
A facsimile of me:
Torn, ripped apart, crossed out, mistake after mistake after miraculous mistake.

I will watch then, as ink seeps through the sheets,
Red like my bleeding love.
It’s a stain that spreads wide,
Across our fragile paper of time and place and
It will not be erased
For all your trying.

For my failings?
I am going to write and re-write 
The ending I want to hear
Scratching uncomfortable words crudely,
Carving them indelibly into the paper thin walls of your white heart
With a pen I have made of love,
Until there are no pages left and these futile
Words run dry like tearless eye sockets
And I am left with nothing,
Or everything:
Just a pen,
And cool, white paper.


0579CF07-7ADC-4168-95DC-2E15F84C0452These are the pieces of me –
It hurt when I broke.
But no one looked on
And nobody spoke.
I fell pretty hard
Was knocked from the side
But nobody spoke
And nobody cried
And nobody cared
That I was shattered,

in bits,

What did it matter,
I’d taken worse hits?
But here were the cracks,
I was never that tough
Had been brought pretty cheap
And treated quite rough.
So wrap me in paper,
Until I’m all out of sight.
Throw me away,
I wasn’t worth the fight.


I am here 
But I am never here any more.

Here only exists with you.

So I will wait here,

With you.

And I will tell you every day
For as many days as I may have,
For as many days and minutes and hours that it may take,
About my here
And how much I love you here
And how much I want you here
And how much I need you here
Until you are brave enough to find me

Just here, not far,

And realise your here,
Is here with me
That you have always been here with me.

Drown Me In Blue

They are warm 
Opposed to your cool,
But they both drown.
Mine invite you in like
A dangerous quagmire,
Sinking mud that takes you
Holds on to you
Wants to keep you prisoner forever,
Won’t let you go…

Whilst yours beckon
Temp like ice,
Sirens, on a hot day and 
Become the only thing I need,

Look me in the eye,

Really look 

and stare me down,
If you can, 

Drown me in blue.


I do not dare to dream
Those burning green and fertile dreams
Of a life with you.


I cannot bare to dream
Of any life without you.

So I will dream nothing.


Anaesthetise all senses
Until I can sink into
Coma-like oblivion
To wait,

Until you are mine.